Blog#4- The fear that shakes the stage

Listening to an old recording of two and half year old me reciting rhymes and the English alphabets with my father’s words of encouragement, made me question whether this was the start of my journey towards public speaking. As years passed by, one of my memories of him is listening to Abba, Glen Campbell and Boney M and me standing on a stool mouthing the lyrics to gain his attention! Thus, I delve into a topic which may seemingly be one of the most written one with reams of available training content, a dangerous territory.

Early school years, mathematics with its decimals and LCM became the red coat devil of my life and English literature emerged as a guardian angel which whisked me into its dreamy narrations and poetic symphony. So started my journey of participating in elocution contests which my father earnestly helped me prepare for. Some initial successes led me to believe that I was born with it, for it and that became my bane leading to lack of preparation and thus a dry spell for a few years. Finally what saved me in Grade 5 was the poem “The Highwayman” by Alfred Noyes…..it became my release to glory on the school stage. These words became my identity for times ahead… “Down the ribbon of moonlight, over the brow of the hill, The highwayman came riding- riding-riding”.

Soon, I realised that memorising, enunciating a pre-written piece was easy and thus the debating sessions coupled with the rebuttals made me ponder the importance of flow of thoughts along with the right delivery and emphasis. I then worked on my passion, burning the candle at both ends to develop my writing and researching skills (thanks to the school library in those non www days) and practising my delivery during those breaks during the weekends that my mother allowed me from the never ending count of subjects and their chapters I was supposed to master in. What helped me immensely were those inter school competitive sessions like JAM (Just A Minute, not the cool music creation sessions that this acronym is more known for) to hard sell your views on a topic or an obscure product, a 2 min extempore on a topic which even today in my career helps me create what is know as the “Elevator pitch”. They helped me master the technique of processing my thoughts simultaneously with the words meant for delivery. Speaking in public and to an audience became my natural self.

I was blessed with an environment at home and my school ( a group of awesome teachers like Mrs Papul Majumdar) and thus my self believed proficiency. As I embarked on my career, I realised that this skill forms one of the biggest fears in most individuals. The fear aptly coined as “Stage Fear” seems to infect a lot of people including quite skilled and intelligent folks!! A little bit of research led me to an astounding revelation. Apparently, this anxiety is linked to our DNA as human beings which developed through the pre historic era. Making an eye contact ( which is the biggest requirement as you connect with people over a monologue or dialogue) was considered to be an eminent threat for survival. This activated the ‘Amygdala’, the part of our brain that helps us respond to danger. Therefore, you see that people’s physical responses while they are speaking resemble how their body would react to physical form of danger ( shortness of breath, redness of face, shaking). Many, even most confident speakers react to this danger through creating a wall between themselves and the audience. What do these walls look like? Looking at the notes often, looking at slides, fidgeting with the remote slide changer, adjusting their tie or dress or the collar!

How not to activate the ‘Amygdala’- I could link my own journey and experiences to develop some tenets which I feel could actually stall this activation and here are those so called pearls of wisdom (actually learning from failed attempts!)

1. Make the mirror your best friend– Practice your delivery in front of the mirror as much as you can. Be comfortable with your expressions, pronunciation and gait ( maybe you won’t make the error like Trump twisting his lips as he tries to enunciate Vivekananda). Use the mirror again before you step on to the stage or the podium. Feel good about your looks, your turnout and the energy you dissipate. This shall help you overcome the fear that the audience maybe judging you all the while that you are there.
2. Build that swagger– Walk up to the stage or the podium like you own it, like you are a model walking that ramp as a show stopper. That effect lasts for a while in the minds of the audience giving you enough time to get into your groove.
3. Start with the audience– Choose a topic and medium of delivery which you think the audience would want to listen to and not what you want them to hear. This means if the audience is not ready or expecting a topic that you want to talk about, think before you finalise. Remember it’s for them and not for you that you deliver.
4. Make humour your weapon of choice– Crack a joke, bring the kind of humour that comes naturally to you (self depreciating? maybe to a certain extent but remember the line that you cannot cross). When the audience smiles or laughs, the energy is palpable and its acts as a stabiliser to the stage that seems to be on a richter scale of 8!
5. Eye Contact– Defeat the ‘Amygdale’ through its trigger point which is by making an eye contact with the audience. Scan the room like a mine sweeper and speak to the eyes of everyone present. One easy way to remember that, is through the concept ‘Game Theory’ developed Dr John Nash, Jr. To my underdeveloped primal mind, when used in dating, it simply talks about focussing equally on the friend/friends of the girl you want to ask out and seemingly shift the scale of importance between them. Likewise, use this as if you want to date the whole audience in the room, sweep you gaze across and not focus on a dot on the back wall or one person who might feel X rayed by your piercing eyes!

Fortunately my last job involved a lot of public speaking on varied topics on a weekly basis to an audience of women, which mind you, can be scary since they could crink up their eyebrows immediately if they didn’t like what you said or didn’t agree with you (am not judging)! This was really a weekly ‘on the job’ training of all the tenets mentioned above.

One of the most important learnings that my father an engineer, connoisseur of classic rock and pop (seems like a fusion of left and right brain) and also a voracious reader gave me, has held me in good stead. He advised me to read anything that I could lay my hands on but absorb what I felt was right and to trust my instincts. These really help me to express myself effectively. The best way that still holds ground even today to express yourself, be it in relationships or work is through words that come from your mouth, processed through your brain and approved by your heart! No amount of emojis can replace that! So go forth and let your sound box make those waves…….

Jai Hind!